Dressing for the mood you want

I was in Australia at a conference on Monday and Tuesday this week, and following some very impressive thunder storms on the Tuesday evening, my flight was delayed so that I got home at 2am.  TWO. A. M.  And girl, if you think I was taking it easy on Wednesday morning and rolling into work whenever I wanted, you do not understand my job.  I was in that office at 9 o clock, which to be fair is over an hour later than I would usually turn up, but still way too close to 2am.

 Thinking about bed, exactly as I had for the previous 10 hours of the day

Thinking about bed, exactly as I had for the previous 10 hours of the day

As we know, I think clothes can rark you up and help to get you into the right frame of mind, much like a costume, and that they send a signal to those around you that influences how those people perceive you (even if only subconsciously).  Since I knew I was basically useless on Wednesday, I wanted to go with an outfit that would give me a bit of a kick up the bum, and also trick others into thinking I was able to do any kind of complex thinking.  Enter: my most excellent Grecian Warrior Princess dress (surprisingly, not its actual name).  It totally worked, you guys.  Nobody suspected that I spent most of the day thinking about how much I was looking forward to bedtime.

This dress is a power combo of comfortable fabric and excellent swishy cape/sash effect.  The sash is the most obvious detail in this dress, but what really impressed me was the way it cuts down at the back, while the shoulders stayed where I wanted them all day.  Nobody wants to have their dress slipping off the shoulder in the office, and the more rigid fabric in this dress meant that it held itself up.  While the back is lower than I might typically wear (today’s dress rises right up to the bottom of my hair), I didn’t feel too exposed, because the dress balances this with long sleeves and a conservative hem length.  

 This is the pose of a woman who fell asleep in Economy for 45 minutes at an excruciating angle

This is the pose of a woman who fell asleep in Economy for 45 minutes at an excruciating angle

The colour leans purple, and if I was putting this outfit together again I’d veer away from dark blue boots and towards a bright coloured shoe (red? Maybe orange?).  Again, massively sleep-deprived, I went with my new favourite combo of fishnet tights and ankle boots for more toughness, and frankly because my zombie personage was afraid of traipsing along in my usual 4 inch heels.  That’s how you fall down, scrape your knee, and have a public cry while sitting on the filthy footpath because you’re just tired, okay, and you’ve had about enough of this whole “being awake” scenario.

Here’s a pro tip for those who occasionally have to roll out of the house looking like they’ve been hit with the insomnia stick – bright lipstick.  The goal is to scream (soundlessly, don’t actually scream) (well, actually, you do you) “look away from my massive eye bags!” by directing attention to your mouth.  Yes, I realise I am buying into some bullshit beauty standards here, but ya know what, this makeup/lipstick scenario really helped me in my mission to create an illusion that I was a functioning human being.  I *heart eyes emoji* make up – it’s like another accessory, and you can imagine how much I believe in the power of accessorising.  In this case, the red lipstick proves my post-outfit concept that a bright shoe would have looked even better. 

 SWIIIIIISSSSSSHHHHHH

SWIIIIIISSSSSSHHHHHH

In short, this dress helped me through yet another day in the cruel, uncaring world of adult responsibility.  I went to bed at 9.30 that night, a solid 90 minutes earlier than usual (self high five for sensible choices) (although I also ate a packet of Hi-Chew candy before bed, so I’m still me evidently).  What’s your best trick for dealing with the world when you’re barely operational?  Tell me.  I need lots of tricks, you guys.